1. She's driving again. (Exciting progress in terms of her pain, but it is also like being driven around town by someone who is trying to kill me.)
2. She has applied for a couple of summer jobs.
3. She is doing (some) schoolwork, on her own, no prodding from me.
4. She is helping out with Gunny the Magnificent Chewing Puppy and has decided she wants to train him to be a therapy dog so she can help other people.
All of this is fantastic, miraculous, joyful, hopeful as we watch her heal and look forward to a pain-free day for her sometime in the future. It really seems possible now!
And then... THEN... I feel guilty. I feel awful when I tell another Pain Parent about Harriet's progress. Because I remember that I was happy for other Pain Parents when their kids got well, but my heart tore open as I wondered, "Why not MY kid?" So here I am on the other, happier side of that equation and it is tearing me up. Is this some kind of survivor's guilt? Am I being silly or hypersensitive? I just can't decide.
What do you think? Is it encouraging to hear that someone else is healing when your child is still hurting? Or does it make you feel worse?